Well, it just dawned on my yesterday that since I am hosting Thanksgiving this year, I should probably buy a turkey and other groceries and make food assignments. (I didn't realize how close Thanksgiving is!)
It will be a small gathering this year, probably about 10 people. I'm going to ask Talented Sister In Law to bring pies, she makes delicious coconut cream, banana cream, pumpkin and pecan flavors.
Which means we will have to be careful with the pecan pie. Since Son #2 is allergic to tree nuts, I am a little nervous about the pecan pie and cross contamination with the other flavors. His favorite flavor is pumpkin pie, so I will make sure he gets served first-before someone uses the pie server on the pecan pie, then uses it to pull out a piece of pumpkin pie.
It seems like we can never relax when it comes to eating. I have to always watch for tree nuts, they seem to be in most ice creams and desserts. So, I have to inspect everything we eat and ask questions. Don't be afraid to do that, I remind family members that he is allergic to tree nuts and I make sure we have the Epi Pen with us. It doesn't hurt their feelings, I know they would rather not see someone go into anaphylaxis-it is pretty scary. I've seen if once when Son #1 had an allergic reaction after his allergy shots, and I never want to see that again.
So, be careful and be polite. You can politely ask family members not to include nuts in desserts or ice cream, or you can just let them know that you or your child will need to be served first. They're usually happy to help, they like our kids to be alive as much as we do.