Do You Have Guilt as an Asthma Mom?

 

 

As mom to three kids with asthma (and having asthma myself), their childhood looked very different from their friends. It's incredibly hard to raise kids with a chronic disease.

Their friends were out riding bikes and playing soccer, but my kids were at the doctor's office, Urgent Care, ER, or in the hospital.  

They were sick ALL OF THE TIME! Not only did I know EVERY doctor in my pediatrician's office, but I also knew most of the After Hours doctors. 

Not to mention the doctors and respiratory therapists in the ER....  

I would always worry if I was doing the right thing. 

Do any of these worries sound familiar? 

• They are sick again 
• Should I take them to the Urgent Care? Or go straight to the ER? 
• What if they get admitted to the hospital? Is it my fault? Did I wait to long to take them to the doctor?
• Should I have insisted my child needs oral steroids? What about a chest x-ray?  

I'm not a doctor, nurse, or respiratory therapist - but I would know when something just didn't  seem right with my child. At the ER, I would tell the doctor, "Look, I can't put my finger on it, but something is not right with my son or daughter." 

As a mom, you know your child better than anyone. You know how their sleep pattern, how much they eat, how energetic they are, and how they look or act. 

There were countless time when my child would be listless, sleeping way too long, not eating or running around, coughing, and just seemed really sick. The pediatrician would say, "It's just a virus and there's nothing we can do." 

But I would feel unsettled, I KNEW something was wrong. I would carefully watch them and pace the floor, then put them in their car seat and drive to the ER. And I was right to do so -  my kids ended up being admitted to the hospital a combined total of 12 times (2 of those were ICU). 

Asthma Doc knew my kids would go from bad to worse very quickly. I had a bottle of prednisone at home for each kid, and Asthma Doc would tell me that if my kids caught a respiratory infection and I could tell they were getting worse, to start them on a dose of prednisone, THEN call his office and let him know. 

He would listen to their lungs and decide if they needed more steroids (like a shot of Decadron.) Sometimes that wasn't enough and they would need to be hospitalized, get a steroid IV, oxygen, and be monitored around the clock by medical professionals.  

If your child ends up in the hospital, it DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOM! 

Some kids have severe asthma and no matter what you do, they can end up in the hospital. We tried countless inhalers with spacers, made sure my kids used their controller inhaler (anti-inflammatory) morning and night.

They also took allergy meds and had allergy shots. And I made sure our house was allergy & asthma friendly. 

But they would get sick at school and still end up in the hospital. That does not make me a bad mom.

Once an injectible biologic came out on the market, it changed our lives. Back then, kids had to be over 12 years of age to qualify for the drug. Once my son turned 12, he started the monthly injections. 

He would get sick, but hold steady. He wouldn't end up in the hospital! What is this madness?

I found a company that offered copay assistance so we could afford the monthly injections, but finally found something that controlled my son's severe asthma. 

My daughter didn't qualify for the drug, so we were extra careful with her and were germaphobes long before the pandemic! 

Let go of mom guilt. 

You can follow the doctor's instructions to a T and our kids can still end up in the hospital. 

We have enough to feel guilty about (gaining weight, messy house, medical bills, car trouble, etc) don't add one more thing to your worry list! 

From my experience, it does get better. My kids are all adults now and they can have a bad flare if they get pneumonia or COVID, but they haven't been back in the hospital in years!  

Do the best you can, and remember to take care of yourself too! 

 

Hugs, Andrea